Grace Forms Blog

Adoption and Divorce

Many people never begin the process of learning how to adopt a child because they fear it could make the life more difficult for the child in the event of a divorce.  However, many of these assumptions are either misinformation, or just flat-out wrong.

The most troublesome myth we often hear is that a divorce voids and nullifies an adoption.  This just isn’t true.  Although this can be the case with foster care, when you adopt a child, that child is legally your child from then onwards, as if it you had been the one to give birth.  If the adoption has not been finalized, the court and the adoption agency may both determine if the parents are suitable in spite of the divorce, or may even grant custody and support to one parent, depending on the circumstances.

Provided that the agency feels you are still a fit and good parent, past or multiple divorces typically don’t play a role.  Of course, all this depends on what it means to the stability of your household, and how that stability (or lack thereof) can affect the child.  This is also assuming that the adoption is within the United States.  Outside the US, some countries will not allow adoption by someone who has been divorced before.

We have even heard some people claim that parents who adopt are also more likely to file for divorce.  This is not only wrong, but data and logic supports the contrary.  Although not true for all couples, many of those who are looking to adopt a child are doing so because of infertility, which causes a lot of emotional, financial, and mental stress on a relationship.  It stands to reason, then, that if a marriage is able to survive the stress leading up to the goal of adoption, the adoption itself would be far less stressful on the relationship.  Further, it motivates both parents to put forth more effort to make the relationship work since so much time, energy, and resources were exerted in order to adopt.

Adoption brings a lot of happiness to many lives the world over.  Don’t let misinformation prevent you from finding that same happiness.